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In December 2015 The Guardian Newspaper cited one survey that said 68% of those polled expected to have a family argument at Christmas. Now if that is even remotely representative of us today, it means that you, or the person sitting next to you, maybe doesn’t look forward to family gatherings. Another survey found that 1 in 4 people experience conflict as a prominent feature of their workplace. Again, if that is remotely representative of us today, it means that for you or someone sitting near you, 34 hours of their week is spent in difficult circumstances. Family, friends, work. These are big areas of life. We make thousands of decisions every day, often with very little time to consider them, and we need practical wisdom that can help us navigate through the day to day and the mundane. That is where the book of Proverbs excels – with short and memorable expressions that can guide us in the split second decision moments. They teach us how to live wisely in the world God has made, and which he sustains. They invite us to consider how life in God’s world works, and then call us to live accordingly.

Of course, some of us might immediately be thinking ‘why listen to a bunch of sayings from a people a long time ago and in a land far far away?’ Well, the wonderful news is; not only are we invited to believe that the Proverbs come from God, but we are also directed to see them lived out perfectly in the life of Jesus Christ. For the claim is that Jesus is wisdom made flesh. So, if we are unsure whether to live according to the Proverbs is good for us or not, we can not only look around at the world and see that in general, life works well if we live this way. But we can look specifically at Jesus Christ, and see how attractive God’s wisdom is. So when we read the Proverbs, let’s allow them to ask us two questions. The first is: Whose wisdom do I want to live my life by? The second is: Whose wisdom is revealed by the way I live my life?

So let’s begin, Proverbs 10.11:

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence

Let the imagery go to work for us. You are being invited to imagine someone who, when they speak, their words refresh and revive those who hear them. They are like cool water on a thirsty tongue. They are the person you want to go to when you’ve had a bad day. They are the person at church who, when you turned up not wanting to talk to anybody, surprised you by their tenderness and kindness, who made you glad you decided to show up at all, who enabled you to go home and face another day. Their mouth is a fountain of life. In contrast; the mouth of the wicked person conceals violence. When you speak with this person, they try to lead you into a trap. A conversation with this person is like a game of chess. There’s a trap in chess called “fool’s mate”, where the unknowing player is defeated in just four moves. And you really do feel like a fool when you walk into it! This wicked person is a hunter, their mouth lays snares, it drops bait – leading you on until you do or say something they can use against you. This Proverb asks us – what do our words reveal about us?

Are we like the righteous person or the wicked person? When we speak, is it our intention to be building others up, or do we view some conversations like a sparring match, waiting for the right moment to land a cutting blow? The Proverb is both the test and the cure. It calls us to seek to build others up with our words. Imagine if all of us said this Proverb fifty times before we came to church – the mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life. The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life. What difference would make to our conversation over coffee do you think? Proverbs 10.12:

Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses

Again we’re presented with two behaviours coming from two sources. To cover over an offence in this Proverb is the opposite of stirring up strife. So one person takes offence at something someone says; they respond by going around making it everyone’s business, drawing in as many people as they can, getting people to pick sides. But love, on the other hand, sees an offence and doesn’t let it spread. Like smothering a small fire with a blanket – they cover over the offence. 2 things here:

1. This Proverb does not mean we shut our eyes to evil and abandon justice. Remember Jesus perfectly embodies the wisdom of Proverbs – he knew when it was right to use his words to welcome Zacchaeus the corrupt tax collector in Luke 19, or the woman who had lived a sinful life in Luke 7, and when it was right to pronounce woes on the religious rulers and pharisees of his time. This Proverb does not say we should abandon justice and close our eyes to evil.
2. Instead of going to the complicated and extreme examples of offence and abuse, let’s begin with the mundane and the humdrum interactions in life. Because this Proverb tests our hearts, to see whether they love by nature or hate by nature.

To take a really mundane example. Say a couple go out to dinner and everything goes wrong. There’s a mix up with the reservation so they have to wait 30 minutes for a table. Say the waiter and reception staff are rude. Imagine the food comes late and is cold when it’s supposed to be hot and warm when it’s supposed to be cold. Then say the final insult comes when they’re brought the bill and there’s a 15% discretionary service charge added on. This Proverb applies to the moment they take out their phones and go on Tripadvisor to share their experience with the world. Is it really because they are concerned that other couples may have as bad an experience as they had? Isn’t it at least possible that the motive behind their savage review is hatred for the restaurant, its staff and its manager? This Proverb asks us – what is your response to personal offence? I am so quick to get my side of the story across. To see my own name vindicated, and I need to check myself. Hatred stirs up strife. Love covers over all offenses. Proverbs 10.13:

On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is foundBut a rod is for the back of him who lacks sense

This Proverb invites us to consider to whom we will go to find wisdom. It tells us where wisdom is found; on the lips of one who has understanding. And it tells us who to avoid (the one who lacks sense) because they’re heading for trouble. Again, consider an everyday example – who would you trust to service your car? Surely you want to go to someone who understands cars. Someone who has got their certificates on the wall of their shop, and whom other people recommend. When you speak to this person about your car, they can tell you what sort of work it needs. When you hand this person the keys to your car, you can trust that you’ll get it back in a roadworthy condition. On this person’s lips, wisdom about cars is found, because they have understanding about cars. Surely none of us want to put our car keys into the hands of someone who lacks sense about cars. The person who sets themselves up as car mechanic without the right experience risks being fined or going to prison. Anyone who trusts that person to look after their car risks their car, their life and the life of others on the road.

That’s how we behave with our cars. How do we behave with our lives? Who do I go to for wisdom about how life works? There are so many real experts available to us. Experts to help with our finances. Experts to help with our GCSEs and A Levels. Experts to help with our health. Experts to advise on public policy. Experts in foreign policy. It’s good to learn from others who are wiser than we are, but who on earth sets themselves up as a life expert, to whom we can go to find wisdom on how life works? To answer such basic questions as who am I, why are we here, and what happens when I die? Who on earth can have the breath-taking confidence to say in relation to these things: “This is the way to go, walk in it?” That was Jesus Christ’s consistent claim; to be the one person to whom we must go to have life, for he alone understood it, for he created it. Proverbs 10.14:

The wise lay up knowledgeBut the mouth of the fool brings ruin near

Again, this Proverb invites us to diagnose our symptoms. We are told that it is characteristic of the fool bring about their own ruin by their mouth. Whereas the wise person sets themselves to acquire knowledge. The parallelism suggests that while the wise person is gathering knowledge, the foolish person is busy dispensing knowledge they think they have. The wise person is listening and learning. The fool is chattering, bragging, gossiping, advising, proclaiming, suggesting, proposing, pontificating and at best then finds they have to eat their own words in humiliation or worse, condemned by their own mouth. This Proverb asks us: Are we eager to learn – or are we eager to speak? And this Proverb comes into sharp focus when we meet Jesus in the Gospel. Did you know that in three of the gospel accounts, (Mark 12, Luke 20, Matthew 22) we are told that people came up to Jesus to ask him questions – hoping to trap Jesus in his words. That is, they knew about his reputation, they had heard about his ministry of healing and his teaching – and instead of going to him for wisdom, they came to try and catch him out.

Life is complicated and this side of heaven we only see partially, we don’t have all the answers to every question. Jesus is gracious and kind, he is wise enough to handle honest questions about sensitive things. But Jesus is not a fool. There are some hurting people who ask some very hard questions which make following Jesus feel pretty weak. And there are some clever people who ask some very clever questions which can make following Jesus seem pretty foolish. And there are times when I can’t tell the difference between them and I lack the wisdom to answer them. This Proverb checks me (the fool speaks rashly) I would be a fool to answer a hurting person as if they were an A-level philosophy student. But this Proverb encourages me; I’m no fool for trusting Jesus even if I can’t answer the clever question. The wise person lays up knowledge – if I go back to Jesus with the clever question ready to learn, this proverb says I’m being wise, whereas my questioner is behaving like the fool.

Let’s try and draw these Proverbs together. Words can hurt and words can heal. Words can give wisdom and words can spread folly. Words come from hearts that either love, or hate, and from minds which either have understanding or that lack sense. These Proverbs ask us whose wisdom is revealed by how I use my words, and whose wisdom do I want to live my life by? Jesus calls us today to come to him and allow his wisdom to rule our hearts and minds, and so govern our speech. What wisdom is revealed by my words? Which of us is not guilty of using our words to trap and cut others. Which of us can say we have never given into the temptation to stir up strife and use our words to bring trouble on another? Can anyone of us look back with invincible confidence and declare we’ve never said anything we’ve later come to regret? What wisdom do we find ruling Youtube, TikTok, Twitter or Facebook? How are words habitually used in those places? What wisdom is lived out in the halls of Westminster, or celebrated by Hollywood? To whom will we go to learn wisdom?

When we see and hear Jesus clearly, we discover that far from ruining life, he wants us to really live life. We discover that far from restricting our life, he empowers us to live the life we really want to live. Though his Proverbs expose our shortcomings, his gospel reveals our salvation through his sacrifice on the cross and the gift of his Holy Spirit. Take a moment to think about what’s coming up for you this week, and in particular, how you will need to use words this week. Which of these Proverbs will you let guide you when you need to respond the 1000s of decisions you need to make every day. Just imagine with me if all of us turned up to church next week praying that our words would be like a fountain of life to those we speak to. Wouldn’t you be excited to see what that would be like? Wouldn’t that make JPC a place you’d be confident to bring your friends and neighbours to? So take a moment, pick a Proverb, and think about the context in which you want to live by it. And we’ll finish with a prayer for God’s help:

Father, we thank you for your Word which makes us wise for Salvation. Thank you that you understand all things perfectly and have made a world that runs according to your wisdom and your love.Please help us to live in line with your wisdom, particularly in the area of our speech. Help us as we go out this week to grow up a little more to be like Jesus in how we use our words. Amen.